There is a time to remember.
Now is that time. Learn from the lessons you have already learned.
Most people cannot handle hearing the dreams or nightmares that my synapses generate. Sometimes things that do not disturb me will be very disturbing for other people to hear. That is understandable because or our varied lives and perspectives. I forget that sometimes.
We have each had unique lives. No one has lived my life. Nor can I live anyone else’s life. That is one of the reasons we grieve when someone we love has died. That life is over, except in our hearts and memories.
Historically we could actually comprehend that concept of “ashes to ashes” because we were closer to the realities of life and death. We are actually closest to our Creator at birth and at death. They are both sacred times. In our sterile world we can easily forget this. Or even never know it. I think those of us who are caregivers are really blessed by these sacred times with our patients, regardless of whether we are ready for them or not. It is not for us to say when.
I believe that when something or someone dies, their physical bodies are recycled (everything is always becoming something else). In this modern world we do everything we can think of to prevent that from happening. The embalming, the casket, the vault and so forth. It is healthier to look at life from a more natural perspective. That is when we can actually see the full cycle of life to death to life again. For each life that leaves us behind gives us a new beginning, a new life, if we are able to embrace it through our own grief.
Look at it this way, for a flower to bloom, a seed had to shed its hull and die. Likewise for new flowers to be created, they must die and become seeds carrying new life.
It is in this limbo time when we need to remember the best parts of the life that has blessed us so we can carry those aspects of that person with us into the new life that we will face in their physical absence. It is time to remember. So do not try to push the river upstream. Let those memories and feelings flow and follow their natural path and your new life will become itself when you are ready.
And so I remind myself . . . “Be still my soul…” and listen… allow yourself to simply BE.